How to love when your angry

  1. When you’re angry shift your attention away from your child and concentrate on yourself. 
    Forget about teaching your child lessons unless you’re in a state of love and can teach lovingly. A teachable moment is always when both people are receptive and positive. If either of you are triggered then your brain is not as receptive and in your child’s case probably quite shut down.
  2. What if your child’s behaviour requires discipline?Discipline means guidance. 
    Your guidance will be a lot more effective once you’re calm. It’s our job as parents to be our child’s role model in handling emotions constructively. That means never acting on our anger from that “fight, flight or freeze” place where our child looks like the enemy and we have to “win” while our child has to “lose.”
  3. Practice, practice, practice. There is always plenty of opportunity to practice finding that moment of freedom between the stimulus (your child’s behaviour) and your own response. Noticing is what gives us a choice next time.